


your heart heals

by Fandom_trash



Series: everything heals [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Asexual Enid, Eavesdropping, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, POV Outsider, Past Sexual Assault, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Teen Angst, graphic description of past sexual assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 02:35:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9858176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandom_trash/pseuds/Fandom_trash
Summary: Enid knows that she lies in a moral gray zone that most people don't understand. She hadn't felt alone in that gray zone since she met Carl. She feels alone again now that he's started avoiding her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> What Enid does in this totally not cool and should never be done. Just throwing that out there.

Enid hadn't been good at making friends in a long time. Before she came to Alexandria, she had purposefully avoided interacting with other survivors. After arriving in the Safe Zone, every friend she'd made had been an accident. 

Ron had been an accident. 

Mikey had been an accident. 

Carl  _especially_ had been an accident. The only one she didn't regret though.

He had seemed to truly understand her. He wasn't judgemental and he didn't expect anything from her. Even when they spent all day alone in the woods, he hadn't tried to touch her. Which she appreciated because she cared about him a lot, but the idea of having sex with him-  _with anyone_ \- kind of made her want to throw up. She was still trying to figure that out. 

The only problem she had with Carl was how much he'd been avoiding her lately. It'd been two days since they lost Glenn and Abraham, since Daryl had been taken and Carl hadn't come to talk to her once. She didn't mean to be full of herself, but she thought they were close enough that he'd talk to her about this. Instead it seemed like he'd been avoiding her completely. She tried not to let it bother her, truly. It just, kind of hurt that he didn't trust her. These days he spent most of his time in the house. He also spent a lot of time with Eric. The older man went over to the Grimes' house once a day and spent the whole time in Carl's room. She could see them through the window. Carl sat on his bed and Eric sat in a chair and they talked for a long time. Then Eric got up and left. It was weird. 

She didn't want to be nosy. She just wanted to make sure her friend was okay. Enid knew that Eric had tried to reach out to Ron a couple of times after Pete died for counseling. She knew that Carl had told her once that something bad had happened to him, but he never went into detail with what happened. She figured that's probably what he was getting help for. Why he wouldn't tell her about it, she didn't know, but she wanted to. 

Thats how she ended up here. Standing outside Carl's door, straining to hear what was going on inside. Eric had been inside for 20 minutes already and Michonne and Rick were out of the house so she figured she was safe. The room was silent when she put her ear against it. Finally there was some quiet mumbling inside. She could only pick out a couple words, most of them from Eric. Pressing her ear firmly against the door, she finally heard a full sentence. 

"Have you had any toxic thoughts about the event recently?" She heard Eric ask.  _The event_. That sounded ominous. 

"Yeah...thinking about..." Carl mumbled back. Ugh, she wished he would just speak up. 

"That's completely normal for people who have been through similar situations. We just need to work on ways to control those thoughts." Eric responded. Enid was so concentrated on hearing what Carl said back that she missed the sound of the door opening downstairs. 

"I hate... feel... gross..." Her friend mumbled again. Enid wanted to give up. She couldn't hear anything and-

"Enid? What are you doing?" A voice behind her asked. Enid startled enough to accidentally bang her head on the door. She turned to see Michonne standing in the hallway with her hands on her hips. 

"I was just-" She started, but the door was yanked open by Carl just in time to cut off her excuse. 

"Enid?" Eric questioned, giving her a disappointed look that mirrored Michonne's. 

 "Carl, I-" The look on her friend's face was kinda making her sick to her stomach. God, this had been a huge mistake. 

"Were you spying on me?" Carl demanded, looking more angry than she had ever seen him. She wondered if this was the look he had given Negan that night. So full of anger and bitterness. 

"I... yeah, I was." Carl jaw dropped and she could see Eric wince over his shoulder. 

"I can explain! I was just trying to help!" She insisted. Carl's visible eye squinted-  _his only eye_ , she reminded herself- and Eric reached out carefully to touch his shoulder. Carl tensed, but allowed it.

"Maybe you should go." Michonne said firmly. 

"Or maybe you should stay." Eric offered gently. Carl moved away then, letting the older man's hand fall off his shoulder. Michonne made a betrayed noise on Carl's behalf. 

"I want her to go." Carl insisted. Eric nodded. 

"If that's really what you want. It might be helpful to talk to a friend though. You never know who might share similar experiences." Eric was so sweet, Enid couldn't help but think, it's a wonder he's survived so long. 

"No, I... no." Her friend mumbled, hiding his face behind the brim of his hat. Michonne grabbed her shoulder tightly. 

"I'll walk her out." The older woman stated and turned Enid away from the two standing in the doorway. As Michonne started marching her away, Enid glanced back at Carl. 

"I'm sorry." She called to him. He didn't lift his head.

 

* * *

 

 

When Enid was alone in the woods a couple hours later, she realized how big of a mistake she had made. 

Obviously whatever Carl was going through was private. He hadn't wanted to talk to her about what was going on and had been really upset when he thought that she knew something about it. She had let her insecurities get the best of her and hadn't thought about what Carl wanted. She knew what she needed to do know. 

Getting back in the wall was easy. Getting back inside the Grimes' home was going to be hard. Michonne had seen her eavesdropping and there was a good chance Rick was back from his run and Michonne would've told him. She knew that Michonne was a mama bear. As kind as she could be, she was protective and had a set of claws. Or more like one really long, sharp claw. 

Eventually, Enid decided it would be best just to sneak in Carl's window. Scaling the side of the house as quietly as possible, Enid considered what to say to her friend. Before she knew it she was peering in his window without a clue of where to start her apology. She knocked lightly, not wanting to startle Carl. The boy pulled back the curtains and looked out at her. She watched him sigh, but he still moved to open it for her. 

"What are you doing here?" He questioned while she crawled inside. She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. 

"I wanted to apologize. For what I did earlier. It was a jerk move and I shouldn't have spied on you." She wanted to be more heartfelt, but had no idea where to start. Carl let out a breath and looked away from her. 

"How much did you hear?" He asked shakily. 

"Not much. I hadn't been there for long." She answered honestly. Carl nodded slowly and sat on his bed. Enid stood there awkwardly for a long moment before he gestured for her to sit beside him. She lowered herself onto the space beside. They were silent for a while. 

"What did you mean when you said you were just trying to help?" Carl eventually said. She cleared her throat. 

"You were avoiding me. Something was obviously upsetting you and I just wanted to know what it was so I could help you." She admitted. "Plus, I know that Eric does counseling. Ron told me he suggested that he talk to him a couple times after Pete died." She answered. Carl winced a little at the mention of Ron and reached up to touch the bandage covering his eye. He opened and closed his mouth a couple times before he cleared his throat and began to speak. 

"When we were still out on the road, my dad pissed off this group of men. I don't know exactly what happened, but they caught up to us. I was asleep in a car and when I woke up the men had dad and Michonne at gunpoint. All of a sudden one of them is pulling me out the car and I'm freaking out, you know? I don't know what's going on. We fight for a little while but it's not really fair. He's a lot bigger than me and I wasn't good at fighting yet. So he pins me down on my stomach eventually and I'm really scared by then. Dad and Michonne are at gunpoint. Daryl had shown up, but they were beating him. No one was coming to save us, to save me.

"I can hear the leader talking to my dad, but it didn't really click. Not until the guy on top of me told me to stop squirming. He had me completely pinned and no amount of squirming was setting me free. I could hear him unbuckling his belt... My dad went crazy. He didn't... he didn't..." Carl trailed off, tears running down one of his cheeks. For the first time in a long time, Enid cried. 

It broke her heart. Her best friend was crying in front of her for the first time and over something so horrible. She held her arms out for a hug and he fell into them. 

"I'm so sorry something like that happened to you." She whispered against the top of his head. "But I'm so proud of you for telling me this. You're so brave."

The pair was quiet for a long time. They somehow end up laying on the bed together, intertwined with each other. 

"Eric was right. Talking about it did make me feel a little better." Carl finally said when Enid was drifting off to sleep. 

"How so?" She slurred back. 

"It feels less like I'm keeping some dirty little secret." He answered softly. Enid nodded. She understood how it felt to get things off your chest. 

"I'm glad you're here. You're my best friend." Carl admitted. Enid could've cried. He understood. He didn't want sex either.

"You're my best friend too, Carl." 

And it felt like she had got something off her chest too. 

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I didn't quite nail Enid's character but idk she's hard for me to write


End file.
